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in process

As someone who gets up in front of people on a Sunday morning and pours my heart out, you would think writing on a blog would be pretty easy. 

It's not. 

Which keeps surprising me. I struggle with insecurity, doubt, second guessing my writing. With preaching, I can control the delivery and add nuance that's lost in this written form. Here, I simply write and hit publish and it's out of my control. 

I think of lots of things I'd love to share in this space. But I edit myself too quickly. I make excuses. I listen to fear. And the thing I felt a nudge to create and express quietly disappears. 

Somewhere in the pages of Liz Gilbert's "Big Magic" I claimed the idea that I want to create simply because the thoughts in my heart need to get out. I want to enjoy the creative process because it's fun. I'm not really doing this for anybody else. If someone likes it and finds it helpful in their journey, that's icing on the cake. 

So that's it for tonight. Nothing earth shattering. Except, a quiet commitment to begin again. To create and wonder and question and observe. Because I am in process. I keep thinking I'm about to "figure it out" and "arrive." And I put those words in quotes because I still can't believe I think it's possible. We're all in process. It's time to make peace with it. What a great way to live.



Most Read

Why Some Experienced Clergy (and Lay People) Have a Hard Time When Younger Clergy Take Renewal Leave

This is a guest post from my very own dad! He's a United Methodist pastor serving in Bend, Oregon. I enjoy chatting church leadership with my dad and it's fascinating to see how our generational differences bring different perspectives to our calling as pastor. We need each generation to walk with each other as we figure it out in this new world. We've been reflecting lately as I finished up a renewal leave and he prepares to retire this June. 
By David Beckett
I fall into the category of experienced clergy which is a polite way of saying I am old. I’ve been pastoring for nearly 40 years. When I was a young pastor my role models were mostly white males who presented an image of success that equated with dedication, overwork, and sacrifice. My first senior pastor talked about the 20 hr/wk he invested in sermon preparation. And he expected his staff to work beyond their stated hours. During those three years of full time seminary and a large youth group I put in up to 80 hr/…

Why pastors need collaboration, not competition

There's competition in every industry. Some get promoted over others. Some work incredibly hard but their gifts go unnoticed. Others do good work and people assume they're fine but underneath, they feel like they could never be honest about how hard life is in this season. People spend more energy figuring out how they measure up in a work culture instead of doing the actual work.

Competition itself implies there are two sides.

I remember field days at my elementary school in Alaska. The half-frozen spring ground was covered with clumps of dirty gray snow. Jackets were thrown on the ground as the fourth graders tried to beat the fifth graders at tug of war. Rope burns were shrugged off as sweat dripped down our young faces. We were determined to beat those fifth graders. Our pride was on the line.

Whether you're a fourth grader or an ad manager at a fancy marketing agency or a senator trying out for attorney general, competition runs deep in our DNA.

We want to be the bes…

Why I stay in the United Methodist Church

We can't ignore the numbers. The United Methodist Church is in decline. Many ask, "Why do you stay? Denominations are useless these days."

But I face that reality with overwhelming hope and excitement. I see the Holy Spirit weaving its way through our current & new leadership in ways I've only dreamed of. A couple years ago, I thought about leaving. But I decided to ask some hard questions about why we're in decline. And that journey to the heart of the United Methodist movement has lit a fire in me to see it renewed.

Why I Stay...

1. Our faith is active. We get our hands and hearts dirty in service & relationships.
2. Every United Methodist church is connected through a network of gatherings, prayer, service, money, agencies and leadership. I would never want to serve in building God's kingdom by myself.
3. I see God changing hearts and lives every. single. day.
4. I am fascinated by our founder who's only intention was to create a renewal movement ins…