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yes yes its my first day of grad school. :) i took a picture for mom and dad. probably my last first day of school picture EVER. i don't think God's calling me into doctoral work.
well the first day went pretty well. for many reasons, i caught myself thinking that i could still drop all my classes and just keep on working and saving money to start next year. but somewhere in the middle of Kingdom, Church & World, I looked around and thought, "hey this is pretty fun." and ever since, i've had a dedicated but odd work ethic.
i light a candle here in my "office" and sit in our new reading chair whenever i'm tackling a chapter. i am of course killing time right now while my brain resets itself. the last couple sentences i read where really rough. i would read 4 words and stop. 5 words and stop. "think how dumb am I." read 2 words and stop. "i just want to cry." read 4 words and stop. "how will I write papers on this?"
so here i am. avoiding the beginning of my first paper.
i decided to add an online class too. History of Methodism. Hoping my 24 years in the Methodist church will come in handy. I'm really looking forward to reflecting on the original intent of the UMC and what it looks like today. What can we learn from our founding fathers that would guide the UMC to relevancy in our generation?
Aaron and I had a freak out moment today about finances. Then realized we had a lot of reimbursements for youth events coming in. But still reminded us that we spend money on stupid things and we HAVE to better at saving. Have to. No options now. I'm trying to figure out how to get loans. Long, tiring process that I don't want to think about.
It's not as fun to study and read and write when you also have to deal with the stress of paying the thousands of dollars for what you're doing.
But God is faithful. I'm trying to be faithful. This is a dream of mine. I really am glad to finally be starting it.
But man.
The end looks a long way off.


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I fall into the category of experienced clergy which is a polite way of saying I am old. I’ve been pastoring for nearly 40 years. When I was a young pastor my role models were mostly white males who presented an image of success that equated with dedication, overwork, and sacrifice. My first senior pastor talked about the 20 hr/wk he invested in sermon preparation. And he expected his staff to work beyond their stated hours. During those three years of full time seminary and a large youth group I put in up to 80 hr/…

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